Woman Kicks Cousin Out of Baby Shower After She Steals the Spotlight, Going on a Monologue About Her Fertility

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    r/AITAH u/Silly-Respond-7141 • 2d AITA For Asking My Cousin To Leave My Baby Shower Because She Wouldn't Stop Talking About Her Fertility Struggles?
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    34F here. I'm currently 7 months pregnant with a girl. Three years ago, I was pregnant for the first time with my son, and I had a stillbirth. It was a sad and horrific experience for both me and my husband. I wasn't sure if I wanted to try again because I was so sad and afraid, which is why I waited so long to have my daughter. This pregnancy has been beautiful, but also has obviously stirred up a lot of old fears and emotions. The good news is that everything is going well so far, and my husba
  • 03
    Last weekend, my mother-in-law and mother threw a baby shower for me. They both know the pregnancy has been difficult at times, and really wanted to make it a positive event and help me celebrate. They invited several of my friends as well as relatives. One of the guests was my cousin, who I'll call Kaitlyn (35F). I love Kaitlyn, but she has the tendency to make things all about her. She has a beautiful little girl (4F) and is currently trying for another child. I know she's had a hard time gett
  • 04
    Anyways, during the shower, my guests who have children were going in a circle and giving me advice. Everyone was so kind and positive, which I really appreciated. But then, it got to Kaitlyn, and she started crying and saying that I should always appreciate my child because she's a gift from God. She then started talking about how lucky I am, and told the entire table about her fertility issues and how she's had such a hard time getting pregnant. This went on for about half an hour, and it comp
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    At one point, I went into the kitchen to help my mom tidy up a bit, and Kaitlyn came up to me and started talking about how difficult the baby shower has been for her. To be honest, I snapped. I told her I understand she's going through something difficult, and I have a ton of empathy for her, but the day was about celebrating my daughter. I told her if it was too much for her, she shouldn't have come at all and I would have fully understood. I also explained to her that after my still birth, it
  • 06
    In fact, my cousin's daughter was Christened a few months after I lost my son, and I selfishly had a difficult time watching the ceremony because I was thinking about my baby. I didn't tell anyone this, because I didn't want to take away from her daughter's special day, and my husband and I both smiled through the ceremony and celebrated with everyone else. I also told her that the pregnancy has brought up all kinds of difficult emotions, and I wanted a day of love and happiness with my loved on
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    Kaitlyn basically accused me of minimizing her feelings and not understanding that everyone handles loss differently. She said her reaction was a normal response to what she's going through. I basically said if she wasn't in a place to celebrate me or my daughter, I understand, but she needs to leave. She went and got her mom and they both stormed out of the event.
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    After the guests left, I told my mother and MIL about our conversation, and they agreed that she was being completely inappropriate and insensitive. My MIL even said that SHE wanted to ask her to leave because it was so tone deaf. I got a call from Kaitlyn's mother today, and she expressed that she was astonished by my lack of empathy for Kaitlyn and what she's going through. She told me if I don't apologize for kicking her out of the baby shower, I'll never be invited at their house ever again.
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    Ku1orion • 2d A HALF AN HOUR? NTA. That's some toxic bs you should avoid in your future too. I know you love her but it's okay to love someone and keep your distance for your mental health. Reply 3.2k
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    Aylauria • 2d This is where someone who wasn't OP should have redirected the conversation and/or get Kaitlyn out of the room. NTA 925
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    SamanthawmcNeill • 2d Your feelings are valid. Kaitlyn's focus on her own struggles during your baby shower was inconsiderate and disrupted your celebration. It's important to have boundaries, and her behavior was inappropriate. 225
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    Live_Western_1389 • 2d If Kaitlyn had been struggling for years with infertility without results, I would have empathy for her. But she has a beautiful 4 year old daughter and for her to act this way at your shower was totally inappropriate and an move on her part.
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    You were in a situation that was far more heartbreaking and devastating when you lost your first child. And you went to her baby shower and then the christening of her daughter and held your pain inside and was supportive. If Kaitlyn is so delicate that she can't be around someone who's pregnant and be happy for them, she should've stayed home. I can't advise you on whether or not to apologize. I certainly wouldn't. NTA. ... 74
  • 14
    Truth Tornado. 2d Jesus Christ. This wasn't a group therapy session, and even if it had been, her half hour emotional dump would have been considered monopolizing of even that!!!! What a horrendously narcissistic ! 81
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    hjgrow. 2d NTA. Quite frankly, I'm sick of this . If you are infertile and baby showers trigger you, STAY HOME! If your husband cheated on you and weddings trigger you, STAY HOME! If you can't be happy for someone because of the trauma in your past, I get it, stay home. Reply Ŵ 1k ↓
  • 16
    That90sKid 2d Yes! When my husband and I were getting married, his cousin was going through a really bad divorce. Her husband cheated on her and left her aso she declined the invitation to our wedding. We understood and there were no hard feelings but there were definitely other members of the family who thought that it was so selfish and terrible that she couldn't just suck it up and attend and I'm like no. Why should she come to our wedding and make herself miserable? She did the absolute righ
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    Financial-Ranger4826 • 2d NTA. Your cousin is horrible. I also had a hard time getting pregnant, so I can relate to your cousin that it's hard to sit through baby showers when you want to be pregnant more than anything. But I NEVER acted that way, and always found a way to celebrate whatever friend or relative was pregnant.
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    You also lost your little boy. I can't imagine what you went through, and if my loved one had gone through something like that, the only thing on my mind would be how I could support and love you during this pregnancy. Your cousin needs to get her head out of her and realize that others are suffering too, and there is a time to talk about your feelings and a time to suck it up and think of someone else. Congrats on your baby girl, and I'm wishing you a smooth delivery. Reply 284
  • 19
    NTA scr84. 2d Your response to Kaitlyn was perfect. Sounds like she has main character energy and low emotional intelligence. Ignore Kaitlyn's mother, let your mum and MIL deal with her . If she thinks that was appropriate behaviour from her daughter then it's no wonder Kaitlyn doesn't see how she is in the wrong. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and congratulations! Reply 174
  • 20
    Fancy_Bass_1920 • 2d Tell your aunt "Thank God, then I don't have to worry about getting stuck listening to Kaitlyn again" Reply 132
  • 21
    TnPhnx • 2d If Kaitlyn is on your mother's side of the family, tell your mother and let her deal with it. I'd bet that she spun it to sound like she was the innocent party and was unjustly attacked. ← Reply 53 ↓
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    MrsPedecaris • 2d I'd bet that she spun it to sound like she was the innocent party and was unjustly attacked. This is my thought, too. Her mother probably heard a twisted version of the conversation and thought the right thing to do was stick up for her daughter. ... ↑ 24
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    NTA. ManagementFinal3345 • 2d Two things can be true at once. A person can experience hardship. And a person can be attention seeking and inappropriate. Just because you experience a hardship doesn't give you the right to act however you want.
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    Hijacking your baby shower to trauma dump for attention is really inappropriate. A still birth is loads more traumatic than infertility. You were right to correct her behavior. Your baby shower wasn't about her and if it was so hard she should have stayed home. Reply 25

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